You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Of course I have a pirate flag
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize