You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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