PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
