If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
So I just went to clothing optional bar
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
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