just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Randomize
