My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
