Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
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I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
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We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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