OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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