You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I should be sponsored by Trojan
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
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On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
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i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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