alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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