You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Randomize