Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Never joke about your clitoris.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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