Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
