Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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