his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Randomize
