Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Randomize
