No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
