Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
