I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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