I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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