any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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