Dual....:-)
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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