Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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