I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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