Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
