No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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