Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
