Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
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Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
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He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Randomize