my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Randomize
