I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I'm both gender and math confused
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
