Having a random hookup so left but love u
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
