So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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