What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
