At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
