Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Randomize