Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
