Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
we made out on top of his cat.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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