We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
