whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Randomize
