Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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