their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
