Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
There was a lot of him and a little penis
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I party with great urgency now.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
