Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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