He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
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