every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
