I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
