I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
