is your mom at the bar?
More tranny stories later!
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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