Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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