You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Still dying that you shit outside
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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