Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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