Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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