Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
