apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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