I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
