idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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