Sponge bath it is.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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