then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
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