didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
