They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
