I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
