What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I look better un-naked...
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize