i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
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Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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