She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Randomize
